Short Funny Jokes » School Jokes

Final Exam – Don’t do it!

Short Funny Jokes — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:57:29 +0000

Walk in, get the exam, sit down.

About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor:
“I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

Grades Below Sea Level

Short Funny Jokes — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:41:52 +0000

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed.

“What’s the matter, Son?” asked his mother.

“Aw, gee,” said the boy, “It’s my grades. They’re all wet.”

“What do you mean ‘all wet?’”

“You know,” he replied, “…below C-level.”

Always Late For School

Short Funny Jokes — Sun, 02 May 2010 15:39:48 +0000

Teacher: Why are you always late for school?

Student: Because you always ring the bell before I get here!

Driving School

Short Funny Jokes — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 17:35:42 +0000

A driving instructor: What would you do if you were going up an icy hill and the motor stalled and brakes failed?

Student replied with confidence: I’d quickly adjust the rearview mirror!

The Story of Chicken Little

Short Funny Jokes — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:53:55 +0000

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

She read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”

The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?”

One little girl raised her hand and said,
“I think he said: ‘Holy Mackerel! A talking chicken!’”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Little Johnny Wasn’t Paying Attention in Class

Short Funny Jokes — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 19:41:57 +0000

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?

‘Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

College Professors Driving Down The Highway

Short Funny Jokes — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:00:33 +0000

Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed.

A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous.

The driver pointed out the sign that read “20.” He explained that he was going 20 mph because of the sign.

The policeman pointed out that the sign indicated they were driving on Highway 20.

Somewhat embarrassed the professor apologized and promised to be more observant.

As the policeman turn to walk back to his car, he noticed the other two professors on the floor …looking scared to death!

He asked the driver, “What’s wrong with them?”
The driver replied, “We just turned off Highway 105.”

My Pop Taught Me!

Short Funny Jokes — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:04:44 +0000

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well.

“Yes! Of course! My pop taught me…even more than 10!”

“Good. What comes after three?”

“Four,” answers the boy.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your erm…dad did a good job. Now…so what comes after…lets say ten?”

“A jack!”

Clean Up The Mess in The World!

Short Funny Jokes — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:52:38 +0000

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!”

“That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.”

Expands to Six Times it’s Normal Size

Short Funny Jokes — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:26:49 +0000

Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, “Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it’s normal size, and state the conditions.”

Mary gasped and said in a huff, “Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!”

She sat down, red-faced.

“Susan, can you tell me the answer?” asked Mr. Baldwin.

“The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions,” said Susan.

“Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!”