To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

A happy pit bull.

The genie says, “I will give you three wishes but there’s a catch, everything you wish for your wife gets double.”

So the man says okay.

First he wishes for a convertible, the genie says, “OK your wife gets double.”

Then he wishes for a million dollars, the genie says, “OK your wife gets double.”

Then his last wish is, “Beat me half to death!”

“We’re supposed to wear something that matches our husband’s hair, so I’m wearing black,” said Mrs. Smith.

“Oh my,” said Mrs. Jones, “I’d better not go!”

Wife: I clean the toilet seat…

Husband: How does it help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush!

A: He wanted cold, hard cash!

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.

She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

They have experience in pain and in buying jewelry !